Example of agreements for group interaction
The following list comes from a group that meets at the East Bay Meditation Center.
Shared Agreements
MOVE UP/MOVE BACK
Encourage full participation by all present. Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and vice versa.
PRACTICE MINDFUL LISTENING
Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised, to learn something new. Listen with your whole self.
PRACTICE SELF FOCUS
Attend to and speak about your own experiences and responses. Do not speak for a whole group or express assumptions about the experience of others.
UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTENT AND IMPACT
Try to understand and acknowledge impact. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent is often more destructive than the initial interaction. Good intentions are not enough. Listen and learn from the impact.
“TRY IT ON”
Be willing to “try on” new ideas, or ways of doing things that might not be what you prefer or are familiar with.
REFRAIN FROM BLAMING OR SHAMING SELF & OTHERS
Practice giving skillful feedback.
CONFIDENTIALITY
Take home learnings but don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said in this session, ask first and respect their wishes.
RIGHT TO PASS
You can say “I pass” if you don’t wish to speak.
AWARENESS OF LANGUAGE AND CULTURE
Multiplicity of learning styles, language, expression, intelligence. Includes idioms, phrases, word choice.
PRACTICE “BOTH / AND”
When speaking, substitute “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities. Practicing inclusion in our language and feedback.
Shared Agreements
MOVE UP/MOVE BACK
Encourage full participation by all present. Take note of who is speaking and who is not. If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and vice versa.
PRACTICE MINDFUL LISTENING
Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised, to learn something new. Listen with your whole self.
PRACTICE SELF FOCUS
Attend to and speak about your own experiences and responses. Do not speak for a whole group or express assumptions about the experience of others.
UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTENT AND IMPACT
Try to understand and acknowledge impact. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent is often more destructive than the initial interaction. Good intentions are not enough. Listen and learn from the impact.
“TRY IT ON”
Be willing to “try on” new ideas, or ways of doing things that might not be what you prefer or are familiar with.
REFRAIN FROM BLAMING OR SHAMING SELF & OTHERS
Practice giving skillful feedback.
CONFIDENTIALITY
Take home learnings but don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said in this session, ask first and respect their wishes.
RIGHT TO PASS
You can say “I pass” if you don’t wish to speak.
AWARENESS OF LANGUAGE AND CULTURE
Multiplicity of learning styles, language, expression, intelligence. Includes idioms, phrases, word choice.
PRACTICE “BOTH / AND”
When speaking, substitute “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities. Practicing inclusion in our language and feedback.
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